Download Ebook Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent, by Lois Ruskai Melina
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Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent, by Lois Ruskai Melina
Download Ebook Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent, by Lois Ruskai Melina
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Amazon.com Review
"Some people may describe adoption as difficult; others simply describe it as different. I am inclined to think of it as complex," writes Lois Ruskai Melina in the updated, revised Raising Adopted Children: Practical, Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent. Adoption practices have evolved considerably since this book's first publication in 1986, and the new version of the "Dr. Spock for adoptive parents" reflects the latest theories. Drawing on the findings and practices of pediatricians, social workers, scientists, and adoptive parents, Raising Adopted Children is carefully and thoroughly researched. Chapters on open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption are combined with advice on bonding and attachment, breast-feeding an adoptive infant (possible but complicated), dealing with schools, privacy issues, adopting a child with disabilities, adopting as a single parent, and the challenges of adolescence. While Melina's many years of professional and personal experience shape her advice, she remains very evenhanded. For example, she's a strong proponent of the "early telling" theory of adoption (being open about the adoption with the child from the beginning), but she also clearly presents other points of view, and, throughout the book, encourages parents to make decisions that feel right for them. The text includes specific suggestions for explaining a child's birth circumstances, including common misconceptions, and a valuable discussion about whether adoptees are at greater risk for behavior problems or learning disabilities. She also provides suggestions for setting rules for contact with biological parents, easing grief, and acknowledging a child's history. A completely annotated list of selected references and resources rounds out this superior guide. --Ericka Lutz
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From the Back Cover
In this completely revised and updated edition of "Raising Adopted Children," Lois Melina, editor of "Adopted Children" newsletter and the mother of two children by adoption, draws on the latest research in psychology, sociology, and medicine to guide parents through all stages of their child's development. Melina addresses the pressing adoption issues of today, such as open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption, and answers parents' most frequently asked questions, such as: How will my child "bond" or form attachments to me? When and how should I tell my child that he was adopted? What should schools be told about my child? Will adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated? Up-to-date, sensitive, and clear, "Raising Adopted Children" is the definitive resource for all adoptive parents and concerned professionals.
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Product details
Paperback: 402 pages
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Revised edition (July 10, 1998)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0060957174
ISBN-13: 978-0060957179
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.9 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.7 out of 5 stars
32 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#299,982 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book comes up over and over again in adoptive parenting circles, blogs, discussion groups, agency recommendations, etc. It's well known because the author at least touches on almost anything you would need to know when bringing a child into your home through adoption. The sections on bonding and attachment, grief issues in children, and talking about adoption with your children and others were especially helpful. She is also sensitive to the feelings of birth family members, something that sometimes gets overlooked in adoption literature. I like the fact that Lois Ruskai Melina covers some of the hard-to-ask questions ("Are my adopted children at greater risk for mental health issues?" is one example) with balance and a non-alarmist tone. The book doesn't discuss international adoption as much as some other titles, although there is more here than in previous editions. I would say that her information on HIV adoption may be outdated, since medical intervention has improved greatly since the writing of this book. The way to read this book is slowly and thoughtfully, realizing that your child will not have every single potential problem mentioned. Just tuck the information away in case you need it later, and focus on the positive things you can do now to help your child adjust to his or her new home.
I am in the process of adopting a child and this book was required for the home study. It is well organized and has useful information. Due to the structure of the book, I can easily go back and re-read the sections that are relevant to where my family is in the adoption process. Even when I disagreed with the information, it made me think through the situation, and explore further resources. This is a great reference book for families pursuing adoption.
The book began by describing some of the fears that adoptive parents feel. It felt like Melina was in my head, expressing my own thoughts, and I felt so grateful to know that I wasn't the only one!The book continued with practical advice about some of the challenges all adoptive parents will face, as well as a definition of bonding vs. attachment. Then the book narrowed into specific circumstances based on different types of adoption. Well worth the read!
Deep into the adoption process we are hungry for information on what our adventure in child-rearing will be like because of going with an adopted child. If you are in that position this book is worth skimming but not worth reading. It is a very dry book which would work better as a website where key topics are identified and you can skip to the parts of interest to you. Or rewrite it as a simple list of topics with 2 sentences under each ("oh I wonder how my adopted kids will react to X").Reading this book from cover to cover, on the other hand, will leave you feeling like every aspect of life is a potential threat to the mental health of your child. It took all my strength not to throw the book in the trash when the authors talked about the issues the adopted child might have dealing with seeing the baby Jesus at Christmas time. There is a point where simply outlining every possible source of stress may not be helpful. This book likely reaches that point. It's not that these things can't possibly be stressful but it feels like this book may be giving equal weight to every possibility. In many cases it feels like what is being shared are merely anecdotes which feel as solid as if a coworker said, "I heard on the internet that...."The book is probably good to have around during stressful times when you might want to find, in writing, proof that others have had these issues, too. And for that reason I can't be too critical of the book. It's reference pages also are very good. But this is a text not a book- a collection of thoughts rather than a well thought out guide for parents.
Great book.I learned about the dos and don'ts of adoption. Good book for anyone seeking to adopt. Opened my eyes to areas in the adoption process I never thought of and provided good insight on how to respond to family, friends, and strangers when they ask specific questions about the adoption process. It helped me to understand what to disclose and how much to disclose to others.
This gave a lot of insight into the moods of Adopted children (my grandchildren). Very helpful for me to have patience during many temper tantrums. Thanks to Lois Melina for giving us help!
I really enjoyed reading this book and learning all about the issues that may come up as an adoptive family.
We are in the process of getting our home study done thru Lutheran Social Services and this is one of the "required reading" books. It is far better than any book I've purchased on adoption on my own. It takes you through every scenario. It's realistic and practical. It's also easy to read.
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